If you don't like me, it's obvious you suck....

I realize that I am not every one's cup of tea.  I've not gone these closer to 40 than 30 years of my life with rose colored glasses on, people.
  I know that my laugh (hyuk hyuk hyuk) is um...loud.  I know that I talk fast and exhuberantly. As a matter of fact, I think a few people need to learn how to listen as fast as I talk. Kapeesh? Oops, off topic. 
Anyway, I'm a story teller. Not a liar...a story teller.  BIG difference.  So of course I'm gonna talk fast and a lot.

I have my opinions and I'm not scared to share them.  If you ask me if your butt looks big in those pants, I'm gonna tell ya the truth.  Can't handle the truth about yo' ass...don't ask me.

I wear my heart AND my faults on my sleeve.  (as my sissy Kari so sweetly pointed out to me, love her.)

This is where I'm getting...I think fairly high of myself.  I'm nice to lil old men and ladies.  I smile at everyone I cross paths with.  I treat people fairly.  I stick up for my lovies like I'm freakin' 10 feet tall and bulletproof.  I work hard.  I believe in Family first and always.  Oh, and by God don't you think for a second if you try to take anything away from the family of friends I've so carefully constructed, that I won't tear you a new hole...well, you just better step back cause I may be little but I'm ferocious. Try me.

Quite honestly, I could make this list of my "goodies" a bit longer but that's just boring and the list I'm cookin' up is funner.  Funner is a word, they use it in commercials so it's gotta be so, right? (I've always used funner just cause it's funner to say than more fun.)


These are the kinds of people that don't like me:

• terribly boring 
• lack a sense of humor
• heavily medicated
• icky
• don't laugh when someone gets nailed in the crotch
• have more money than sense 
• feel threatened because I have discovered what an asshat or twatwaffle they truly are
• did I mention boring and lacking a sense of humor
• un funny
• never ate chalk or paste as a child
• think their ish don't stink like boo boo
• have bad taste in music
• label their labels with labels
• don't drink enough drinky drink
• have never thought of where they could bury a body
• never had a sad day in their picture perfect world
• have a small penis but act/talk like they have a BIG one
• live in glass houses

I make this list all in fun. Even if it's true.  You can't make all the people happy all the time.  I just wanna try to help make my people happy all the time :) And if yousmypeople...I hope I just made yousdayfunner.

ps: Some people don't get why I writelikethissometimes.  If you don't get it, we need to chat more soyouwill. :)