Wordless Wednesday (sort of)

The most incredible thing about this man is that he has NO IDEA how incredible he is. 

Wooptie Woo...it's a list!

1) I used to wear neon (green, orange, pink) workout shorts and oversized t~shirts to school…and I thought they were awesome.

2) I’m a binge eater.

3) I’m unashamedly(is that a word?) good at getting my way…through any means necessary if it’s something I want badly enough. Always for good, never for evil.

4) I secretly (well, until now) had/have the biggest crush ever on Phil Collins.

5) I’m right handed only because my mother MADE me that way by any means she saw neccessary.

6) I  reallly wanted a Mazda Miata AND a '87 Chevy pick up when I was a Freshman in high school.

7) I’m one of those annoying movie quoters.

8) I resent my brother for our different childhoods.

9) I planned on being a magazine editor when I grew up.

10) I used to have a friend back in the day that had dimes braided into her hair.



 

"And that's all I have to say about that"

Old cookbooks are rad

Behold, I give you Hot Dog a la Awesome.

                               



More than anything, I love old cookbooks not for the recipes, but for the pure awesomeness of the photos.

I mean, come on...can you imagine the expression on the faces of Hubs and Bubs if I were to serve this up tonight?

I'll give you a quick run down of ingredients though, just for S&G's...

All Beef Frankfurters

(none of that mixed up crap for MY family)

Brocolli Florets

 (for the vegetarian in your family)

Cabbage

(as if the hotdogs WEREN'T gonna give you the vapors)

Red Peppers

(For that lil pop of color)

Yeah, I think I'll stick to the simple, finer things in life...

A good ol' fashioned Spam and egg sammich :)

 

The Lady is a Tramp.

Love. Genius. Awesome.

If you don't like me, it's obvious you suck....

I realize that I am not every one's cup of tea.  I've not gone these closer to 40 than 30 years of my life with rose colored glasses on, people.
  I know that my laugh (hyuk hyuk hyuk) is um...loud.  I know that I talk fast and exhuberantly. As a matter of fact, I think a few people need to learn how to listen as fast as I talk. Kapeesh? Oops, off topic. 
Anyway, I'm a story teller. Not a liar...a story teller.  BIG difference.  So of course I'm gonna talk fast and a lot.

I have my opinions and I'm not scared to share them.  If you ask me if your butt looks big in those pants, I'm gonna tell ya the truth.  Can't handle the truth about yo' ass...don't ask me.

I wear my heart AND my faults on my sleeve.  (as my sissy Kari so sweetly pointed out to me, love her.)

This is where I'm getting...I think fairly high of myself.  I'm nice to lil old men and ladies.  I smile at everyone I cross paths with.  I treat people fairly.  I stick up for my lovies like I'm freakin' 10 feet tall and bulletproof.  I work hard.  I believe in Family first and always.  Oh, and by God don't you think for a second if you try to take anything away from the family of friends I've so carefully constructed, that I won't tear you a new hole...well, you just better step back cause I may be little but I'm ferocious. Try me.

Quite honestly, I could make this list of my "goodies" a bit longer but that's just boring and the list I'm cookin' up is funner.  Funner is a word, they use it in commercials so it's gotta be so, right? (I've always used funner just cause it's funner to say than more fun.)


These are the kinds of people that don't like me:

• terribly boring 
• lack a sense of humor
• heavily medicated
• icky
• don't laugh when someone gets nailed in the crotch
• have more money than sense 
• feel threatened because I have discovered what an asshat or twatwaffle they truly are
• did I mention boring and lacking a sense of humor
• un funny
• never ate chalk or paste as a child
• think their ish don't stink like boo boo
• have bad taste in music
• label their labels with labels
• don't drink enough drinky drink
• have never thought of where they could bury a body
• never had a sad day in their picture perfect world
• have a small penis but act/talk like they have a BIG one
• live in glass houses

I make this list all in fun. Even if it's true.  You can't make all the people happy all the time.  I just wanna try to help make my people happy all the time :) And if yousmypeople...I hope I just made yousdayfunner.

ps: Some people don't get why I writelikethissometimes.  If you don't get it, we need to chat more soyouwill. :)

WWMPD? Hmm?

What Would Mary Poppins Do? I find that asking myself this question in all the rounded corners of my life really does help.

 D is disappointed about us not buying another Nerf gun for him.

 Somebody is rude to me at work or Heaven forbid I get a human to help me whilst on the phone to some company that I've been on hold with for 152424bajillion minutes.

(Ok, fine...so I exagerate a little on the being kept on hold.. But just a little)

 Or it could be just one of those piss in my cheerios kinda days where nothing seems to go right for me.

 I just ask myself WWMPD? ;) I find I can then breath, straighten my back, smile, think kind, gentle and gracious thoughts and control the anger within.

(Insert semi evil laugh here..BAHAHAHA) 

 So, let's face it... No one can ever outwit Mary Poppins because she is fully in control and one step ahead of the game all of the time.  And if I choose to take it all with a *spoon full of sugar* surely, everything will be ok in the end and go down waaay easier. Right?

 Hell yeah.

Looks like it would taste like Lemon Hard Candy and....

While shopping/looking/yearning at a local antique store here in lovely Lawrence...I found lots of things that if I was a bit cooler and maybe a tad more FABULOUS, I would buy in a flash.     I saw things like this little vase/light/I have no idea what it is. I really would have bought it but really, I need nothing else to dust.  Anyway, I think it's absolutely GAW~GESS.

Makes me wanna lick it.