Wooptie Woo...it's a list!

1) I used to wear neon (green, orange, pink) workout shorts and oversized t~shirts to school…and I thought they were awesome.

2) I’m a binge eater.

3) I’m unashamedly(is that a word?) good at getting my way…through any means necessary if it’s something I want badly enough. Always for good, never for evil.

4) I secretly (well, until now) had/have the biggest crush ever on Phil Collins.

5) I’m right handed only because my mother MADE me that way by any means she saw neccessary.

6) I  reallly wanted a Mazda Miata AND a '87 Chevy pick up when I was a Freshman in high school.

7) I’m one of those annoying movie quoters.

8) I resent my brother for our different childhoods.

9) I planned on being a magazine editor when I grew up.

10) I used to have a friend back in the day that had dimes braided into her hair.



 

"And that's all I have to say about that"

If you don't like me, it's obvious you suck....

I realize that I am not every one's cup of tea.  I've not gone these closer to 40 than 30 years of my life with rose colored glasses on, people.
  I know that my laugh (hyuk hyuk hyuk) is um...loud.  I know that I talk fast and exhuberantly. As a matter of fact, I think a few people need to learn how to listen as fast as I talk. Kapeesh? Oops, off topic. 
Anyway, I'm a story teller. Not a liar...a story teller.  BIG difference.  So of course I'm gonna talk fast and a lot.

I have my opinions and I'm not scared to share them.  If you ask me if your butt looks big in those pants, I'm gonna tell ya the truth.  Can't handle the truth about yo' ass...don't ask me.

I wear my heart AND my faults on my sleeve.  (as my sissy Kari so sweetly pointed out to me, love her.)

This is where I'm getting...I think fairly high of myself.  I'm nice to lil old men and ladies.  I smile at everyone I cross paths with.  I treat people fairly.  I stick up for my lovies like I'm freakin' 10 feet tall and bulletproof.  I work hard.  I believe in Family first and always.  Oh, and by God don't you think for a second if you try to take anything away from the family of friends I've so carefully constructed, that I won't tear you a new hole...well, you just better step back cause I may be little but I'm ferocious. Try me.

Quite honestly, I could make this list of my "goodies" a bit longer but that's just boring and the list I'm cookin' up is funner.  Funner is a word, they use it in commercials so it's gotta be so, right? (I've always used funner just cause it's funner to say than more fun.)


These are the kinds of people that don't like me:

• terribly boring 
• lack a sense of humor
• heavily medicated
• icky
• don't laugh when someone gets nailed in the crotch
• have more money than sense 
• feel threatened because I have discovered what an asshat or twatwaffle they truly are
• did I mention boring and lacking a sense of humor
• un funny
• never ate chalk or paste as a child
• think their ish don't stink like boo boo
• have bad taste in music
• label their labels with labels
• don't drink enough drinky drink
• have never thought of where they could bury a body
• never had a sad day in their picture perfect world
• have a small penis but act/talk like they have a BIG one
• live in glass houses

I make this list all in fun. Even if it's true.  You can't make all the people happy all the time.  I just wanna try to help make my people happy all the time :) And if yousmypeople...I hope I just made yousdayfunner.

ps: Some people don't get why I writelikethissometimes.  If you don't get it, we need to chat more soyouwill. :)

Shh. Listen.

Just feel like it... because it makes me really happy to think of it in my head, and I don't want to forget any of it: I am presenting My List of Favorite Sounds.

(In no particular order)

 

1. The sound of a guitar string as the hand playing it slides quickly across to reach another chord.

2. A fan lulling me to sleep. Every night for years and years.

3. The sound of a soft rain hitting the already plump ground.

4. Dallas' giggle. Infectious and pure.

5. The sounds of my sleeping children. Slow, rhythmic breathing.

6. Silence.

7. The hisspop of eggs frying.

8. The quiet hush right before a movie starts.

9. The sound of cicadas outside my window in the summer.

10. The bubbling of boiling water.

11. The sound you can hear when you block out the ruckus of a train: that rhythm of clickclack, clickclack.

12. The word Puma.

14. People speaking another language (French or Spanish only, please) so fast that all I hear is exoticity, flamboyance, elegance, and beauty.

15. When someone says I love you and you know they mean it more than the words.

16.  Rock Chalk Jayhawk chant.

17. The crackling of a fire, the flow of the Walnut River, and my family and friends laughing while at the Boxcar.

18. The sigh after my daughter laughs.

19. The beginning of a story I've heard my husband tell a million times.

20. A favorite song in it's first three chords.

That's all for now.

You oughtta know...

I posted this blog a while back on myspace but I'm planning on moving all those (5 or 6) blogs here.



Some stuff about me:



1. Pepsi is my addiction. I should seek help.



2. I have to agree with my friend Laura...polish on my toes is a must.


3.Sugar Tits....is what my great granny gave me when I was sad to cheer me up. Still works.


4. I have a shoulder injury due to bowling at a State Bowling Tournament.


5. Phil Collins...wow. A drummer and a voice. Always gets me.


6. I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader when I was younger. I think it was something about those white hooker boots.


7. If Chesney starts laughing, I'm soon to follow even if I have no idea why she's laughing. Her laugh is contagious and spirit filling.


8. I'm a sleep walker.


9. I'm a damn fine parallel parker and backer upper.


10. I wonder how many people know what a sugar tit is?