Anyone who REALLY knows me knows that I HATE crying. Period. Especially in front of anyone, it's utterly embarrassing for me. Not just a little but a whole lot. It's bigger than that even. But yes, sometimes I cry. And usually at the most inappropriate times. Since I so seldomly cry, if someone actually witnesses this oddity, they are befuddled. They don't know what to say or do or sometimes. Be assured you most likely had nothing to do with it, I rarely ever let someone "make" me cry.
Hell, I don't know what to do. Should I just let it all out or wipe away that burning hell off my cheek and move on like I never shed a tear? I cry for reasons known and unknown. I cry because I think, worry, need, care,and want, or I'm angry, happy, ecstatic, nervous, or rejuvenated. I cried last night. Why? All of the above. I cried and I didn't want to, it just pushed it's way right out. Why is it such a big deal for me to cry? People do it all the time. At a sad movie, a touching song, a fading memory. The birth of a child, a love lost or a love found. I don't really have a clue where the hell I'm going with this other than to just say, if you've seen me cry, it was real. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, you mostly see me happy and "on". I cry... I'm overwhelmed... with a flood of emotion that I'm usually able to control and I just can't handle it like I would want to... it's found a way out. I just needed a release. And actually, if you are one of the very few that has seen me cry, you're lucky.... Because that means I love you.
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